


This Really Gets My Goat

by Thette



Series: Strange little ficlets [13]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Christmas Fluff, Disappointment, Fire, Fluff and Angst, Foiled Again, Gen, No Sex, Shippy Gen, shippy as in ray has a bit of a crush but this can be read as completely gen, straw goat burning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 07:45:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15836862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thette/pseuds/Thette
Summary: Mick wants to burn the Gävle Goat, and he brings Ray along.





	This Really Gets My Goat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [youmakemesoangry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/youmakemesoangry/gifts).



> Based on [my husband's limerick](https://skymningssang.wordpress.com/2018/08/07/vinn-superskurkantologi/#comment-576):  
>  _En eldfängd skurk i Sandviken_  
>  _blir i december besviken_  
>  _då bocken brann ner_  
>  _och han ser vad som sker_  
>  _för någon hann först till publiken_
> 
> (Not beta read. I just needed to throw together a little something to break writer's block.)

"Today, Haircut. Today's the day!" Mick said, and slapped Ray's shoulder. 

He was uncharacteristically upbeat, and it worried Ray. Not that he enjoyed getting the surly treatment, though Mick's personality had grown on him over the last year, but cheerfulness like this never boded well.

"That's great to hear, Mick," Ray said with a fake smile. "Care to tell me what day it is?"

"It's goat burning day!" Mick's smile was wild, as he took his heat gun apart for cleaning. "Been waiting for this all year."

"You do know we're on a time machine, right?"

Mick grunted a reply, which Ray didn't even try to interpret, and held out one of the fuel chambers for him to check. Ray tested the valve for leaks and cleaned the fastenings with a microfiber cloth. (Better than Mick's oily cotton rags, but apparently, those were "traditional.")

"This looks okay. Gideon, care to fill me in about the goat?"

"Of course, doctor Palmer," Gideon's calm voice declared. "Mr Rory refers to a forty-two foot tall straw goat, erected annually in December in the town of Gävle, Sweden. 2016 marks the fiftieth anniversary. So far, the goat has been destroyed by arson thirty-one of those years."

"Imma make it thirty-two," Mick said with a smug grin, shouldering his now assembled heat gun. "Wanna come?"

"This is a bad idea." Ray's genius brain started listing all the things that could go wrong, starting with arson and ending with xenophobic violence.

"Suit yourself," Mick said, shrugging and starting to march with heavy steps towards the jumpship.

"Oh, no, I'm coming. You clearly need someone to watch your back," Ray said, hurrying to catch up.

"Stop staring at my ass, Haircut, and make yourself useful."

***

It was slightly above freezing, and the cold winds made Ray wish he had brought a thicker coat and a pair of good boots. No snow, though, despite it being the first Sunday of Advent in Sweden. Mick didn't seem bothered by the cold, but then again, he was drinking mulled, spiced wine with a generous dollop of some unknown booze from his flask. An Christmas market in a small town would have been a perfect date, but this was definitely not a date. This was a heist, if you could call it a heist when you were just trying to burn something down.

"Hey, Mick, can you call it a heist if you're not trying to steal?"

"Shut it, Haircut. Boys in blue." 

There were, indeed, lots of police officers guarding the market and the not yet inaugurated goat. Mick swiped a miniature straw goat from one of the vendors' tables, and Ray used the skills he had learned from him to discreetly leave a bill behind. He caught up with Mick in an alley, where he was staring at the miniature goat as it burned in his hands.

"Mick," Ray said, reproachfully, but he wasn't listening.

The inauguration took place on a crowded plaza, with local bands and Christmas carols. Mick tried to wander off several times, but Ray held on to his arm.

"I'm getting there first," Mick said. "As soon as these people leave, whoosh!" He made an explosive gesture. Mick's increasing nervous energy was getting to Ray.

"How about we go get a proper meal, and come back later? My treat?" The promise of food pulled Mick out of his fire-fueled agitation. They found a steakhouse nearby, with reasonable gluten free options on the menu, and Mick got to indulge in quality meat and Swedish lager. It was nice and relaxed, and Ray even found a local gluten free beer he could drink.

***

Four hours later, they were both drunk and full. Mick had finally started talking by the sixth beer, and Ray felt as if everything around them was slowed down, like he was moving through treacle. 

"Hey, Mick, Miiiiick…" He made that explosive gesture that Mick had made when they were watching the inauguration, only slower and less precise.

"Hell yeeeeaaah, Haircut! Let's go!"

They swaggered and swayed through the streets, laughing and giggling along the way. (Okay, it was mostly Ray who giggled. But he really liked Mick's deep chuckles, okay?)

"No," Mick said, suddenly seeming sober again. He pointed ahead, at the goat. At the burning goat.

"Wait, already?" It wasn't even midnight on the inauguration day.

Mick turned to him, looking away from the fire. "I missed it," he said, a deep mourning in his voice. "This was going to be my year, and I missed it."

Ray wasn't expecting the heavy head on his shoulder, but he knew Mick didn't like to be vulnerable. He raised his hand to Mick's back, and held tight without stroking.

"Next year in Gävleborg?" he asked.

**Author's Note:**

> In 2016, the 50th anniversary of the [Gävle Goat](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%A4vle_goat), it burned at 11 PM on the inauguration night. [Here's a recorded livestream from the inauguration](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9tT_OthgeU). In 2017, the goat did not burn.


End file.
